I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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