hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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