You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
