You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
