i think i have two assholes
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
