So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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