Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
