fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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