you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
no you cant smoke seaweed
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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