i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize