thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
