he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He felt like a one man threesome
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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