but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
