god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
