My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
