well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
