I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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