its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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