He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
