I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
