I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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