Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
