ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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