At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
