I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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