apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
