i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
