I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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