UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
