Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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