dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
