Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
