Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
