he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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