The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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