Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Let's get the cat blown out
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
