its not stalking. its research.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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