If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
