can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
