I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
