I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
