Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
