"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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