just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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