i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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