it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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