I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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