if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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