I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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