I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
