Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
