What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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