What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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