Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
