I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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