i may or may not be watching the land before time
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
