it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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