where am i from again
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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