I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
